i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
