I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
