Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Are we still banned from the library?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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