She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
