1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
