Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
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So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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