i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
