I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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