he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
