I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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