you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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