there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
