Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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