There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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