All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
