Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
