Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize