i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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