i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize