matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
