the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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