I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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