I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My Sexting was not on an AP level
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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