Whatcha textin bout Willis?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
