Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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