I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
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I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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