So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
