you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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