video games are the ultimate cock blocker
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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