walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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