sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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