we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
