someone get that fucking seahorse.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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