Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
