you guys were way drunker than both of me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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