PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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