People with herpes should wear stickers.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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