idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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