my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
