this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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