not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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