i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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