They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
