Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
