I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
