I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
