The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
