Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize