Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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