wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
