If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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