I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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