Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
