id be glad to
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
