lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
one might say we're banned from that church
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
