She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
