she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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