Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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