So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
