And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
