There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize