covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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